To the Minister of Gender Equality, The Hon Fazila Jeewa-Daureeawoo

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At one point in time, the Ides was the most significant thing in March. Nowadays, it’s Women’s Day, with the same old gatherings and speeches every year that achieve nothing. Still, the attitude to women has changed a great deal from my young days and much of past history, but of course mortals’ views are influenced by the time and space they occupy. They always assume their current view is right – for ever

What seems strange is that a women’s day is still necessary in a country that celebrates the abolition of slavery every year. How is it that many descendants of slaves, not to mention of indentured labourers, still treat their wives as appendages, ordering them about as if they owned them? On the other hand, women are almost made to feel guilty about devoting part of their lives to their children’s upbringing. They’re apparently needed full-time in the workplace to help the economy grow, suggesting something’s wrong with the current economic model. Of course, many women used to work anyway until children came along, although it tended to be as maids or secretaries rather than CEOs.

Meanwhile, some feminists seem to be belittling the role of maids. They do a more useful job than some politicians. Mind you, in Switzerland, where maids are fewer, childcare centres are so expensive, many professional women can’t afford them and it’s not worthwhile their working. Those who think maids should be paid as much as CEOs must have a screw loose, although we can at least get Hephaistos to fix that. Have they ever thought what an unemployed maid’s meant to do?

The gods have had to accept that nowadays women should be able to choose what they want to do, and on equal terms with men. But, if they want a family, the roles of men and women need a lot more careful consideration. Equality certainly doesn’t mean men and women are the same. Anyone who thinks so should pay a visit to Theia, goddess of sight. Or Farouk Hossen. Whatever social manipulators preach, it won’t stop girls playing with dolls – or preferring pink. And, while attempts may be made for men to have some kind of artificial womb, the gods created a natural order where that role lies with women. Even in Sparta, the nurturing of children was left to the womenfolk until they were seven or so.

As for fathers, they’ve always been needed as role models, which doesn’t mean sitting in an armchair after work waiting for dinner to be served. For us, it meant being great athletes or philosophers and the like. With the idea that money falls from trees or government bounty, many men no longer bother doing anything. Even well-educated youngsters spurn jobs unless they’re paid a mirobolant salary.

We didn’t have the problem of kitchen tasks as there were slaves on hand. Perhaps Ram so madam should gather up some Amazons to invade Diego and seize a good quantity of “volunteers”. The idea of an American or British slave has a certain appeal, rather like eating crocodiles instead of being eaten by them. Then so madam could become Queen of the Chagos, solving three problems at a single stroke – regaining the Chagos, obtaining plenty of domestic help and giving more professional women the time to hit glass ceilings. Lindsey could even be made GOSK. Some might think GCSK a bit over the top.

Yours sincerely, Epi PHRON

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