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To Leaders in the popularity stakes Represented by The Hon. Étienne Sinatambou

19 mai 2018, 09:25

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Few complain about wage rises, yet there are screeching headlines every time there’s a price increase, with union and consumer champions foaming with apoplexy. Has no-one noticed one leads to the other? There’s a firm belief that public funds are bottomless and a recent pensions statement has done nothing to change the misconception. Perhaps elections really are round the corner or, more likely, that everybody’s round the bend. In other countries with increased life expectancy, governments are addressing the issue by raising the retirement age.

Instead, the decision’s been made to do nothing so maybe there’s a malin plan to ignore costs as the pension system won’t collapse before the next elections. More freebies could be given out as well. As water falls from heaven, it should be free. Even if Al G thinks there’s a treatment problem, that cost can be subsidised. Not that anyone’s fallen ill. Besides, pipes fall off the back of lorries and reservoirs fill themselves. We can also ignore the global price of petrol as Mauritius is immune from external price rises thanks to Dr Anwar’s injections.

A wise union leader has declared we shouldn’t have to pay for a besoin naturel, so charges can be abolished for all the facilities in the Company Gardens, especially those provided by the lovely ladies. At the same time, all food prices can be reduced as people seem to consider that that’s the budget’s main purpose. Let everyone have free housing, with no strings attached to hold them together. There’ll be plenty of spare land as the sugar industry will collapse shortly without a proper cane industry plan.

The minimum wage has gone down well – although it might have been a good idea to set up a safety net for small firms, with some kind of dispensation for those facing bankruptcy as job losses don’t go down well. Or perhaps there’s a grand idea to price local goods out of the market so that firms move abroad to help the downtrodden in poor countries. The jobless here can then be soaked up by the civil service and parastatals.

Financing it all is easy – legalise cannabis plantations. There are far more gandia users than vociferous reactionaries. The world market’s booming and it would give a real fillip to tourism. Friend Raj could give a donation from his recent award and The Dawood could be invited back – providing he donates several trillion rupees from his offshore fortune. The MBC could start selling its world-class programmes abroad and the Loto could have daily prize draws. It’s the only tax people love to pay. Counterfeiting could be decriminalised to bring more money into circulation. After all, it’s only an artisanal form of quantitative easing. Then, we could spend and spend and let the next government sort things out. Although the way your opponents are in disarray, that might backfire as it could be your goodselves.

Why not insist too on receiving billions from the British and Americans in back rental for their use of the Chagos islands? And there’s the blue economy which could bring in billions – if the ministry’s still afloat. Otherwise, if populist policies are pursued, the country could always revert to third-world status, like Greece, and obtain bailouts from friendly nations.

Miss needs to ensure her reforms really help educate youngsters or the illusions will be neverending. Governments could then act in the longterm national interest and eschew all populism – and might still win. There must be more sane voters than demagogues and people barking up the wrong tree…